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random info:

  • They're small, crispy and ridiculously good cookies. 


  • No, you CAN'T BUY THEM ON AMAZON. And if someone is selling them on,, etc., they got them from us, and who the hell knows whether they've been storing them in their underwear drawer, garage or somewhere worse. Not to mention the fact that if someone else is selling them, they'll either have to charge you more to make up for the fact they bought them from us, and want to make a profit, or they are charging you less and don't care about making a profit, which might make you wonder about the mental stability of such a person, which brings us back to the whole, "don't buy Ridiculously Good Cookies from Amazon or anywhere else, other than here". If for no other reason, we guarantee your cookies were nowhere near our underwear drawer.

  • Yes, the only kind we sell are CHOCOLATE CHIP.

  • No, they are NOT VEGAN.

  • No, they are NOT GLUTEN-FREE.

  • Yes, they ARE KOSHER.

  • Yes, they HAVE SUGAR.


  • Why are most of our customers CELEBRITIES and ATHLETES? It just sort of worked out that way. 

  • Do you need to be a celebrity, athlete or rich to get these cookies? No, but it can't hurt.

  • WHY CAN'T YOU BUY MORE THAN 3 UGLY BAGS at a time or NOT MORE THAN 6 IN A 30 DAY PERIOD? Because we make them in really small batches, and we want to make sure as many people as possible can get them. So we think 3 bags should be enough to hold you for the moment. When you'e done with those, please order more? Also, since we do not want anyone else reselling our cookies, we limit the number someone can purchase per order.

  • What happens if I try to "game the system" by placing more than one order at a time? The maximum number of Ugly Bags we will ship to any one address per 30 days, is 6. If you try to order more than that, we will not process the order, we will publicly make fun of you on social media, and your money will be refunded, but less a $5 "trying to game the system" fee. Ok, we're just kidding about that $5 thing. But try really hard to play fair.

  • There's a rumor that if I want to order a LOT of these cookies, you'll package them in other cool and fancy ways, even customizing the packaging. Is that true? Yes. But only if you're a celebrity, athlete or rich. Fine, we were kidding about that last part. But seriously, FOR CUSTOM ORDERS, THE MINIMUM ORDER IS $50,000. And no, we're not kidding about that. So if you want a custom cookie gift, and want to spend less, we highly recommend those custom OREO cookies (note, we have no formal affiliation to OREO or Nabisco - OREO is a trademark of Nabisco - and that's not an affiliate link we provided - we're just providing it because we're good like that). 


These cookies contain MILK, WHEAT, SOY, EGG.

These cookies are made in a bakery which processes WHEAT, MILK, EGG, SOY, PEANUTS, COCONUT, TREE NUTS

What else? Well, you could get some. Maybe.


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